7 Ways Your Birth Partner Can Support You
Show Notes:
[1:37] Your birth partner plays a pretty crucial role when it comes to your pregnancy and birth. Obviously, they helped you get there. 😉 They definitely need to be a part of the process. There's nothing that's going to bring you guys closer than the process of being pregnant and giving birth together.
[3:15] #1. Be an active participant all the way! Once you start learning, you're actually going to be getting excited about the information. Dads need to understand the process just as well as moms because at a point during her labor, she might not be able to verbalize the things that she needs to be done during the process.Dad should know very well, what she desires, but also know her so that you feel comfortable and stand as that rock advocating for her. Dads need to understand how the body works, what tests are coming up, how to speak with providers, what questions you bring, etc.
You have to tell your birth partner your birth preferences, and he has to be invested into the "why" behind you're doing what you're doing. Because when those things come up, you want him to be on your team all the way. And not just because she said so. Dads need to know how to best support you. That can look different for every mom.
[10:08] #2. Emotional support and encouragement. This can look different for each person. Saying certain things like "I'm so proud of you" and "you're doing amazing" and "we're so close to meeting our baby" can be really motivating for some moms. It might look like just standing there, holding her hand, giving her a kiss on the cheek, and breathing with her. That emotional support can look different for each mom.
[10:56] #3. Hands on support. I think it's "fun stuff" in the sense that this is where dads feel like they're doing something. Men are strong. When they do this hands on support, it's exactly what women need.
Hip squeezes are one of the hands on support that dads end up doing until the labor is over. So be prepared for that. We always say, dad, you should be doing at least like 10-30 pushups a day because that double hip squeeze is going to work your chest.
Supported squats are another form of hands on support. This position is when mom is squatting down, dad is standing up, and mom has her arms lean on to him so he's got a good grip on your arms. Mom's arms are straight up while in a squat, and she can just relax and lean into the squat. Mom can lean forward lean back or rock side to side.
We talked about the "labor dance" that moms and dads do. Standing face to face while mom has her arms around dad.Just leaning on him and moving side to side.
Massage is another hands on support, but you have to practice this prior to labor. Even prior to labor, it can be a little bit funky. Some days you might want some like really hard pressure. Some days you might want it a little bit softer. I always tell moms to show dad exactly what you want. You're going to massage him exactly how you want to be massaged, and then he's going to repeat it back. It'll show the pressure, the distance between your hands, how quick, or how slow, and then how much in one spot or not.
[17:27] #4. Remind mom to change positions every 30 minutes. This is actually something even doulas are trained to do. Moms need to be changing positions about every 30 minutes. It's not always precise so you don't need to exactly stick to a schedule, but pay attention to mom, and how she's feeling, and what she's doing.
Movement is really important. That can look like if mom's laying on her side, help her switch to the other side, help her walk around, lean over the bed with a birth ball, or standing and leaning over the bed. You can do lunges, squatting, hands and knees. Ask for a peanut ball, hang over the toilet, get in and out of the shower, whatever the position is, do several of them.
Remind her to use the bathroom! A full bladder can inhibit dilation and labor progression.
[20:11] #5. Advocate for mom with the birth team. Dad is there for what she needs and saying it out loud. Dad is the enforcer of the birth plan, but also the protector of mom. Ensure that whatever she desires happens and be in communication with her along the way. Ask questions that you know she's going to want the answers to so that she can hear it while she's laboring.
[24:01] #6. Offer moms sips of water. Mom needs water to prevent getting dehydrated. Her body is working overtime!
[31:40] #7. Be prepared. Here's a list of things to make sure that you bring to the hospital or do:
- Bring chapstick.
- Make sure mom has her hospital bag and it's packed.
- Don't forget the cell phone chargers.
- Before you get to the hospital, make a playlist together (meditation sounds or your favorite music).
- Bring some earplugs.
- Set the mood.
- Look around the hospital room and know where everything is.
- Bring snacks.
[26:03] Bonus #8. Hire a doula. Just do it!
[32:55] Here a list of what not to do:
- Don't fall asleep.
- Don't eat yummy, smelly food during labor.
- Don't be easily offended.
- Don't leave her side unless she asks you to.
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