Birth Story: When Birth Partner Support Really Matters with Laura & Mark Rowdon
Show Notes:
[2:18] This week's Reviewer of the Week is klsid86, and she said: "The Best Birth Podcast! I’ve listened to hundreds if not thousands of hours of birth podcasts in the past 5 years. I’m pregnant with my second and a self-confessed birth nerd. I only recently found this podcast, and I have to say it’s quickly become my favorite. A great mix of information and humor. I appreciate every episode!"
[3:08] - Mark and Laura Rowdon have been married for four and a half years and have been living in Japan for the past year. They currently serve as missionaries working at an English conversation school. They had first son two months ago so the birth story is fresh in their minds! They started taking the My Essential Birth Course halfway through the pregnancy.
[4:58] Laura had a smooth pregnancy experience overall. Because they were in Japan, things were just different culturally, and Laura wanted to give birth at a birth center because they allowed the freedom of movement, but there was only one hospital that was not so strict about COVID and would allow her husband in as her support person. She knew she needed her husband, especially in a different country and different culture.
[5:50] She would present her birth plan to the hospital, and they would push back, but Laura decided to make the best of the situation because she knew Mark needed to be there.
[6:42] Laura talks about the struggles of having a provider who spoke mainly Japanese and not being able to understand much of what he was saying and vice versa.
[9:08] Mark and Laura talk about what they did to prepare for the birth. Physical activity was extremely important to Laura. They also did labor rehearsals and the three free exercises. Mark studied nursing so a lot of the information was a refresher for him. Every night, Laura would take a bath with Epsom salts and just kind of set the scene for how she wanted to labor.
[14:44] Laura gives her favorite recipe for eating dates! She also drank red raspberry leaf tea.
[16:13] In Japan, the provider will do a transvaginal ultrasound to check on baby. The week before her due date, her doctor told her she was not dilated but everything was looking good and her baby was in the right position. The longest they would let her go would be 42 weeks.
[17:52] Laura shares about how scared she was of birth. She had heard all the horror stories about labor and seen how it was portrayed. She wanted to believe that it could be something that was beautiful and something that could grow her as a person and that would be memorable. Labor is meant to be difficult because it forces dependence on God.
[19:38] Laura walks us through the first contractions. She had Braxton Hicks leading up to her labor starting. She labored for a while but after a while she got into the bath and hated it because of how intense her contractions were. She had her bag packed for a week-long stay in the hospital complete with snacks! Her mother in law said, "Just trust that your providers want the best for you" which gave her the perspective she needed.
[29:05] When she got to the hospital, she had take a COVID test and they checked her. She was three centimeters. She walked around the hallway at the hospital and would stop to work through any intense contractions. She ate crackers and drank water as well. She laid down and after a few contractions, her water broke. She was 5 cm, and she described her contractions like " my uterus was pushing and I felt like his feet pushing against the uterus." Her nurse did counter pressure for two hours because Laura wanted to push.
[32:47] Laura talks about how she needed to work with her body and gives mamas advice on how to work with it instead of against it.
[34:34] Mark goes through how he helped Laura during her contractions. He didn't have a timer but relied on his internal clock. Knowing that these are coming about this far apart and then going from cues based on how Laura was moving, what she was doing, and just sensing it. He would do soft rubs, hand holding, verbal encouragement, whatever your wife likes to hear. Just go with the natural rhythm of it.
[38:12] Laura walks through her pushing and labor. She did side laying which helped her during her contractions and the urge to push. She was so exhausted that she started to fall asleep between contractions. Her husband helped her through the last few pushes as he watched their son's head crown.
[41:38] Mark talks about how helping Laura through her contractions was similar to coaching a friend on lifting weights at the gym. "It's literally the exact same thing you would say to your friends who are lifting at the gym, like emotionally, again, completely different. You're in a different space. But if you remember that, like you've coached someone through pushing before, it is very similar. It was eerily similar to pushing. Like if you're getting your friend to like try to get a good bench press or like hit a good squat, it's the same."
[45:12] Laura pushed her son out and only tore a little when his shoulders came out. Because of COVID, Mark wasn't able to stay the week at the hospital while Laura and their son was there.
[48:00] Laura gives her best advice for mamas. She talks about how after the birth, she didn't enjoy the experience and realized how challenging it was after birth. Her advice to women is to process your birth experience because your birth story has a lot of power, and if you allow yourself to process and think about and reflect on it "What about it did I not like?" "What did I like about it?" "What was beautiful?" "What was hard?" Why was it hard?" "What would I do differently for my next birth?"
[49:47] Laura's advice for dads is to stay by her side and offer encouragement to your partner how she needs to receive it.
[50:43] Mark gives his best advice for dads. He mentioned watching a birth happen so you know what to expect. Take your cues off of what your partner's body was made to do. Learn what's happening. If you're going to be a partner in a business, why would you partner with someone who doesn't know the first thing about the field that he's going into? Do the work. It's worth it.
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