Birth Story: When Pregnancy & Birth Don't Go According to "Plan" with Jake & Danielle Winter
Show Notes:
[2:08] Our Reviewer of the Week is aculls334, and she said "When I first became pregnant, labor seemed scary, intimidating, and there was so much I didn’t know. After stumbling upon this podcast, I feel confident in my knowledge and in my body! I have learned SO much and I love the approach they take of explaining pros and cons to many different aspects of birth. There are episodes on topics for just about anything pregnancy and delivery related, so I am always finding something new that sparks my interest. I am 27 weeks pregnant and hoping for an unmedicated hospital birth. This podcast has actually got me EXCITED to give birth and I am so grateful to have found it!!!" Thank you so much for your review! 💜
[3:43] - Jake & Danielle Winter are parents to three IVF (in vitro fertilization) babies, a four-year old girl and almost two year old boys. They live in Southern California, and Danielle is part of the My Essential Birth Team. 👩🏻💻
[4:51] Danielle shares her IVF experience and the year leading up to even being able to transfer an embryo. After many tests, constant setbacks, and what seemed like two steps forward one step back, a year later, they had a successful embryo transfer, which resulted in her daughter, Everly. Danielle talks about how it gives her goosebumps to think about how she and her husband used to dream about the family they have know. The journey through infertility was full of ups and downs, emotional highs and lows, pain from dozens of shots and procedures, but thanks to modern medicine, they have a beautiful family. 🥰
[9:09] Danielle shares about how the IVF hormones and injections affected her and her communication with Jake. It's funny to talk about now, but in the moment, it definitely wasn't! 😂
[10:59] Jake shares his perspective as husband and father through the IVF experience. He talks about the emotional struggle of not knowing whether the procedures they went through would work and if the plan to becoming a family would work. He talks about the rollercoaster of being told they were pregnant, but a few weeks later being told it may not be a viable pregnancy. The emotional impact infertility has on a couple is so rough, and to go through so much and then to get told "we don't think it's gonna work out" was difficult for a young couple so it was a lot of praying, crying, and working through it together. 👩🏻❤️👨🏼
[14:51] Danielle walks through her pregnancy with her daughter, Everly. She talks about dealing with hyperemesis and not being given an official diagnosis because it was her first pregnancy. She was constantly throwing up, in and out of Urgent Care and the ER, and being given IV infusions just to keep her hydrated. She had to take a leave of absence from work and get a procedure done for a PICC line because her veins were shot because of all the infusions. She talks about how devastating it was to not be able to enjoy pregnancy after the difficult journey of getting pregnant. 🥺
[19:40] One of the other major symptoms Danielle had was swelling in her feet. She mentioned her concerns to her provider multiple times, but it was dismissed every time. By 35 weeks, the swelling had gotten much worse, and Danielle checked her blood pressure at home. A nurse friend told her to go to the hospital immediately to get checked because of the high blood pressure reading she had. 😰
[22:09] After going in to get checked, the doctor came in and asked Danielle if she wanted to give birth that night. She was diagnosed with preeclampsia and had to be induced that evening. She felt so unprepared because she thought she'd have five more weeks to start nesting and preparing for Everly's arrival. She called Jake to leave work and the induction process began. Jake laughs about how uncomfortable he was sleeping on the hospital couches while his poor wife was in labor. 🤦🏻♀️
[26:25] Two days after starting the induction, Danielle was finally ready to push. She was scared as a first time mom because she knew she wanted the epidural, but because she was so swollen from all the Pitocin and medication in her body, the anesthesiologist had a hard time finding where the needle needed to go in her back. But once it was placed, she was able to rest before having to push. She pushed for a total of five times before her daughter was born and placed on her chest. Even though Everly was five weeks early, she did not need any NICU time and was 6 pounds 1 ounce.
[27:18] Most dads are excited to cut the baby's umbilical cord, but not Jake. He wasn't sure why the doctor was offering for him to do it when it's the doctor's job. 🤣
[28:29] Because of the amount of blood that she lost during labor, Danielle was given a transfusion the day she was discharged from the hospital. That night when she laid down, she felt a hard spot in her leg and panicked because she thought it was a blood clot. She tried to wake Jake up to take her to the Emergency Room, but he was so exhausted that he woke up, nodded, and fell right back to sleep. Danielle's dad ended up taking her and the ER Doctor told her it was a good thing she listened to her body and came back because she had post-eclampsia symptoms. 😵💫
[29:36] Jake compares the experience of being a dad to a newborn at the hospital to being in Guantanamo Bay. Someone is constantly coming into the room every few minutes, they're checking you, asking questions, and it's very difficult to get any rest. 😴
[32:10] Jake shares how he felt during the labor and post-delivery days as a new dad with all the complications they went through as a new little family. He talks about how nervous and on edge he was to meet his baby, but how he just wanted his wife to be safe throughout the process and the comfort knowing that the medical care professionals were close by. 👩🏻⚕️
[34:13] Danielle opens up about her miscarriage in January 2020. She talks about how as a couple who has to go through IVF every time to try to get pregnant, how the experience of loss is heightened. 😞
[35:26] When they first went through the IVF process, they had five viable embryos which were frozen. They were told the last two embryos were frozen together so they could either transfer a single embryo or the two embryos. After weighing the pros and cons, they decided to transfer the two embryos. The transfer was successful and she was expecting two fraternal boys. Even before her six-week ultrasound, Danielle was already sick again like her first pregnancy. She had to live with her parents so they could take care of her and her daughter while Jake worked because she had hyperemesis again. 🫠
[38:21] Around 35 weeks, she started getting her Non-Stress Tests done and was sent to the WIP (Women & Infant's Pavilion) to get checked because she was having contractions. Once there, her provider suggested that she get the lung steroid shots for her twin boys. She talks about how she noticed the dosage for the second shot on the second day was incorrect and asked the nurse about it. The nurse had miscalculated and prepared a larger dose. She reminds mamas to always know what kind of tests are being run and what is being done to your body. Nurses are human too and can make mistakes. 🤷🏻♀️
[40:49] Danielle walks us through her birth experience with her twin boys. She had a scheduled C-section for a Monday, but on Friday at 37 weeks, she woke up in the middle of the night because she wasn't sure if she had peed herself or if her water had broken. After determining it was her water, she and Jake went to the hospital, where the nurse informed her she was already 7 cm. She was rushed into the operating room and prepped for surgery. Greyson and Jackson were born two minutes apart. 👶🏻👶🏻
[45:06] After getting stitched up, Danielle was taken over to Recovery while Jake went with the boys to do skin-to-skin. When the nurse came in to check on her, she immediately left to get the doctor. After coming in, the doctor started working to get blood clots the size of golf balls cleared out because Danielle was hemorrhaging. She immediately ordered two bags of blood for transfusion and got the bleeding back under control. 🩸
[45:50] Jake shares what it was like being torn because one baby was taken to the NICU, his wife was hemorrhaging, and not knowing where to go or who needed him the most. His family had just multiplied but he was only one person and couldn't be in all three places at once. 😅
[47:42] After everything was back under control, Danielle was taken back to Couplet Care where she was finally able to hold Greyson since Jackson had been admitted to the NICU for his breathing. He was only there for 24 hours.
[50:59] Danielle and Jake share about their experience with a provider who did not listen to their concerns and refused to work with them. Because Danielle had experienced hyperemesis before, she knew what medication worked and didn't work for her. She explained it to her provider who prescribed the medication Danielle knew did not work. When she refused to take the medication, her provider was angry and told her that the relationship was not working because Danielle was not following her instructions. Because she was so weakened by the hyperemesis, Danielle did not have the strength to advocate for herself and called Jake to come speak for her. He was refused entry. Jake shares how frustrated he was because he couldn't speak up for Danielle knowing how the provider was not listening to her and lecturing her on being a bad mother. They left the practice and quickly found a new provider. 😒
[59:05] Danielle shares her advice for mamas who are experiencing a pregnancy or birth that does not look how they imagined it would be. She talks about the importance of trusting your body and communicating with your birth partner. Knowing that her sweet baby (or babies) would be in her arms was what got her through two really rough pregnancies. Jake also shares his advice for Dads and how communication is important, yes, but also knowing your wife and how she feels makes a huge difference as well. Especially for couples going through infertility together. He also suggests that Dads be willing at all times to make that Taco Bell run. 🌮
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