Motherhood or Postpartum Depression: Navigating the Rollercoaster of Life as a Mother & Knowing When To Seek Help
Show Notes:
[1:11] Our reviewer of the week is Yasmine_098, and she says: “Since finding out we are expecting with our first I have been trying to find holistic and educational resources to soak up all things pregnancy. I have really enjoyed diving into the different topics I have questions about and already feel more confident about how to plan going forward and making decisions about my pregnancy.”
You are in the right place for all of those things! If you have questions about pregnancy, birth, labor, and postpartum, I’m here to help you! ๐
[2:03] This week’s topic is a little different, but I felt like it was time to have this conversation. Postpartum Mood Disorders are thankfully being talked about now more than ever. Women are becoming more aware of signs for these mood disorders that are not limited to postpartum, but also occur during pregnancy as well. If you’ve been listening with me here for a while, you know this is a topic I’ve covered and also something I have personally dealt with. ๐
[2:50] I experienced my very first bouts of depression while I was pregnant with my first baby. I honestly didn’t even believe depression was as “real” as other people claimed it was. I couldn’t relate, and felt like people could just “get over it.” ๐ซค
[3:44] I want to switch gears and talk about the difficulty of motherhood, how it doesn’t come as second-nature to many of us, how figuring out our new lives in the role of a mother and often a wife and partner can be really difficult, how these drastic life changes are real and forever, and how working through them and these things not coming easy is often times just a part of stepping into that role, and doesn’t necessarily mean you need to fix it in the way of counseling, medication, or a diagnosis, but that motherhood involves change and sacrifice and hard work, and it is often uncomfortable . . . and that could just be part of becoming a mother. ๐คฑ๐ผ
[4:49] I will preface this by saying that I’m mot saying there is not a time and place for these other things. PPD & Mood Disorders are very real and do need specific treatments. ๐ฉ๐ปโ๏ธ
[5:25] I’ll include the EPDS (Edinburgh Postpartum Depression Scale) in this episode and a link to other episodes where I discuss these mood disorders in the Show Notes. ๐
[5:44] BUT this is not being talked about enough, and I am guilty of this as well. Motherhood is hard. Life is meant to be difficult. The challenges we go through make us stronger, better, or teach us something. We don’t always want whatever pain or struggle we’re going through, but after going through the process, we see how good it feels to get to the other side. ๐ฃ๏ธ
[7:12] Think of a baby! Take a moment and think about a baby who is learning to get around and walk. They start to push off of things, hold onto things, fall down, cry, and get frustrated they’re stuck in a seat or chair. Or think about a baby learning how to talk. They can’t communicate well, cry, throw things, etc. just to convey their frustration that no one is listening. ๐ถ๐ป
[8:15] Do they need a counselor or a diagnosis? Most of the time, NO! They are just learning these skills, and it SUCKS sometimes! It’s just hard! They may need counsel! But not in the way we think of counselors! They need love, support, encouragement. Someone to pick them up and kiss them and hold them. They need someone to help them communicate. They need us! ๐
[9:28] You as a mom are learning! You are learning a new way of life. There is no pre-training that happens! You are learning how to raise another human. You are learning compassion, sacrifice, patience, and communication. All of these things you’re learning with your baby and your partner. ๐ญ
[10:19] You need support! You need a partner to talk to that will hold you and love you. You need family and friends that have done it before! Why can we offer such love and care to our little children? โค๏ธ Why is that natural for us as they’re learning to walk and talk? Because we’ve been through it!
[11:15] ๐๐ผ We can see the end from the beginning! ๐๐ผ Think about that! Let it sink in!
[11:28] This is why it’s so important for us to have women who have been through it before to reach out to! They help you feel confident and not crazy in your mothering. It takes a village because without that, we won’t have anywhere to turn AND with it, you won’t feel alone! ๐
[13:52] The women who have gone before us have done it before! They know the end from the beginning. They know you’ll breastfeed with less stress one day, you’ll figure out sleep schedules one day, and that you are capable of being an excellent mother. ๐๐ผ
[14:16] And as one woman likely ahead of you on that journey, I know that too. If you don’t have anyone you can think of to turn to and believe in you, HEAR ME NOW. I believe in you. I know you can do these things. I know you can be an excellent mother. ๐คฉ
[14:47] And just like our babies, we know it’s going to be hard. We know that the reward will be so worth it in the end. We don’t stop them from trying because it gets hard! We pick them up and tell them to go at it again. ๐ฅฐ
[16:00] So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, tired, like you’re not a good mother, that you’re failing in some way . . . We ALL do that. We’ve all been there. It is a lifetime of learning! AND I’m here to tell you that you are doing better than you think you are! You were literally chosen to be this child’s mother because YOU are the perfect mother for that baby! ๐
[17:51] You’ll need that knowledge as time goes on too because you’ll need to advocate for this child throughout their youth. You’ll be inspired to know what your child needs and how to help them. You’ll be inspired to ask appropriate questions to doctors, teachers, and other professionals because YOU know your child best. You love them most. ๐ฉ๐ฆ
[18:38] So of course motherhood feels hard! It’s a huge responsibility, but you didn’t get here by accident. You are capable of this work! I wanted this opportunity to reach out to all of you women, as fellow mothers, and let you know that we have all been there. ๐
[19:04] We shouldn’t dwell on the difficulties of motherhood, but we should normalize them. We all feel like we don’t have it all together. There’s nothing wrong with you. We are all working to figure it out. Every year as your child grows, so will you. You will need to. It is necessary. ๐ฑ
[19:44] And with new growth comes new challenges and difficulties. You’ll feel like you’re getting the hang of it, but then something else comes up. Every year you will find new challenges that help you grow.
But those things are to help you become who you are meant to be. โจ
[21:12] They are uncomfortable in a way that requires us to change and become better. And everything that gives us the very best satisfaction in life is not easy. Ever. But it’s always worth it! ๐ซถ๐ผ
If you are a mom, whether you’re pregnant or have already given birth, and you’re feeling like things are hard, life is rough, you don’t know how to make things works, sometimes, it is just part of the process. Just stick with it!
Welcome to motherhood. We’re all in this together. I see you. I support you. You’re doing better than you think you are. ๐
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