The Episode Your Birth Partner NEEDS to Hear on How to Best Support You During Pregnancy, Labor, and Postpartum
Show Notes:
[1:42] Our Reviewer of the Week said, "I listened to this podcast during my entire first pregnancy. I loved the mix of birth stories, education, and practices. I felt empowered to advocate for myself and ask a lot of questions, which lead to confidence in my body and trust in my provider. I chose the epidural route and was satisfied with my experience bringing my son into the world. I just found out I am pregnant with baby #2 and started listening again. Stephanie feels like an old friend and I can’t wait to catch up with her! Honestly, I could go on and on about how this podcast has been a blessing and encouragement in my motherhood journey."
[3:59] This episode is for the dads! I think we have come a long way with how dads are involved with birth, especially now today. We know that research shows that women having their significant other with them during labor equals better outcomes, more comfort for mom, shorter labors, and just overall general better experience. The birth partner role is so important, and we don't want to leave it out.
[6:11] Start with the Three Free Exercises! I encourage dads to do these exercises with her or be with her when she does them or write her a little checklist so that you make sure that she's getting these things done.
[7:37] In order for your birth partner to be an excellent support during labor, it's gonna start with pregnancy. It's gonna start way before your contractions begin because it can be really awkward if you guys don't work on anything at all during pregnancy and then all of a sudden dad goes to dive in and try to be really helpful, which they're really good at during labor. The first thing you guys need to discuss, what are your desires for birth? Do not wait because if they don't have that vision with you, if you can't walk them through that vision, they won't know what you need along the way. Talk to him about where you want to give birth.
[10:13] Now, in order for dad to be the best support person that he can be, he's got to be supportive of those birth choices. So it's not just a matter of telling him this is what I want. It's how do I get him on the same page so he can see what I'm seeing from the point that I'm seeing it. The best part is once dads start learning about those options, the decisions that need to be made, and what mom wants and how he can support and uphold those things, that's where the magic happens. That's where they're like, "I know my job. I know why I'm here to do this." It's the same thing that happens when they learn that hands on support.
[12:16] One of the things that we talk about is hands on support. If you know how to put your hands on mom to help alleviate pain, to give her more comfort, to show love and your strength, there is something about a man's strength. Not only does it feel good because dads are powerful and they have bigger muscles than we do, but it feels safe. It feels comfortable. It feels like that is the person that I love and he is making me feel comfortable and safe and like I can do this, like we're doing this together.
[14:28] If you're not in the birth course, great. Take him to the podcast! Here's a list of our popular episodes for Dads.
[15:42] Birth stories are another great way for dads to learn. When you hear an excellent birth story on this podcast that resonates with you, that's the one that you want to pass on to dad. He might not want to sit and listen to all these birth stories. Maybe he will and that's totally awesome, but if he doesn't, you pass on the ones that evoke the most emotion and make you the most excited for your birth because that's what you're looking for. Labor rehearsals are another thing you can do together. Be sure to practice with your birth partner. Another thing to talk about is pain management!
[19:07] We have a customizable birth plan download! Talk through each of the items with your birth partner.
[20:19] Let's talk about birth! Now, once those contractions start, dad actually has some, some good jobs to do and keep him busy. I recommend the Full Term App for timing and keeping track of contractions. Remember, 3-1-1: when your contractions are three minutes apart, lasting a minute long for at least an hour. This is about when you'd start heading to the hospital as a first-time mom.
Other things for dad to do:
- Pack up the car and bring the hospital bag
- Lay down towels in the car on the seat
- Grab the snacks
- Encourage mom to move every 30 minutes and go to the bathroom
- Counter pressure
- Words of affirmation
- Practice breathing with mom
[31:45] What not to do! Don't take offense to anything mom says during labor. Make sure that you sleep when you have a chance. Don't make jokes that mom might find offensive or unfunny.
[35:43] I kind of want to close out with this is not something meant to be only for mom to know about, only for mom to be educated about, only for mom to be experiencing This is something that you guys do together. This is the time to really bind up, be bound to each other, work through things, communicate with one another, and get to the other side of this birth process together. I promise as you make yourself available and you work through this with communication and those hands on techniques and whatever tools that you can have to educate yourself around the process and figure out how to love her in this space, the both of you are going to be so blessed for that. This experience I think is kind of that like jumping off point to the rest of your lives together. And it's beautiful. It's magical. It's sacred. There's nothing like it.
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